My Grandson’s Bar Mitzvah

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This past weekend I had the overwhelming pleasure of watching my grandson Nate become a bar mitzvah. His utter joy in participating as an adult in a Jewish service—reading the prayers, the Torah, and the haftorah—was infectious. He didn’t just do this to fulfill his parents’ expectations or to please his grandparents; he did it with a full heart. His smiles, the vibrato in his voice, the way his body swayed to the music and the prayers all revealed just how much this all meant to him.

Although I could do little more than marvel and smile and cry a bit while I shared these moments in real time, in the aftermath as I processed it more deeply, I thought of all of Nate’s ancestors going back hundreds of years—all those for whom Jewish practice had been an anchor of safety and meaning in times of oppression, poverty, dislocation, and isolation.

Nate was carrying forward that thread of meaning, that connection to history and to community. He lives in a world where antisemitism still exists and where culture wars make identity even more fraught with danger, but also a world where he has more choices than his ancestors did. And he has chosen to embrace their traditions and carry them forward into the next generation not in a strictly traditional way, but in his own way, investing them with what is meaningful to him. I am both proud of him and excited for him as he now ventures forth into adulthood.

Watching Nate and being moved by his joyful adoption of these traditions and rituals has reminded me of my purpose in doing this research and in writing this blog: to honor and remember all those who came before me and to keep that history alive so that future generations will also honor and remember them and the traditions and rituals they followed.

Nate wearing the tallit that belonged to his great-grandfather Nathan, for whom he is named. Standing behind him is his grandfather Harvey, Nathan’s son.

 

32 thoughts on “My Grandson’s Bar Mitzvah”

  9. How very special! The picture of Nate with great grandpa Nathan’s Tallit and his grandfather Harvey, says it all. The literal and metaphorical thread of tradition connecting the generations and wreathed in smiles! Yes, there are challenges – dangers even – in being Jewish, but those will apply to all Jews. Your Nate, unlike many, has the huge advantage of knowing, understanding and valuing the rich heritage to which he is entitled. Credit to you all for raising him in such a way that he knows it! A huge Mazal tov! Bring the kid over here one day! Despite its problems, Israel is magic.

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  11. Wonderful! When my brother was bar mitzvah’d, my dad was the only living male Jew so my sister and I were volunteered (forced) to participate. Of course we couldn’t read Hebrew but we were provided with our “parts” written phonetically in English. I had a hard time just with that. Congratulations to the whole family!

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    • Thanks, Debi! We grew up in a time when girls didn’t receive the same education as boys, but that has totally changed. My daughters received the same Jewish education as the boys, fortunately!

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  12. I could not only read, but felt your pride and commitment to your religion, family and your family’s history in every word in this post. I loved the picture of Nate in his Great grandfather’s tallit standing with his grandfather. My best wishes for all your family.

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