My cousin Sue, sailing. Courtesy of Lisa Wartur

I lost a dear cousin on August 25, 2025, my cousin Sue (Leyner) Wartur (1938-2025). Sue was my third cousin and also my half second cousin, once removed, making us double cousins. Sue’s grandfather Julius Goldfarb was my maternal grandmother’s first cousin. And Sue’s grandmother Ida Hecht Goldfarb was the daughter of Taube Brotman Hecht, my grandmother’s half-sister. Sue and I were doubly bonded by our mutual family trees.

Ida Hecht Goldfarb and Sue Leyner, July 1938. Courtesy of Sue Leyner Wartur.

I didn’t know Sue until March 2016 when I found Sue’s daughter Lisa while searching for descendants of my grandmother’s Goldfarb cousins. Lisa connected me with her mother, and immediately I felt like I had known both Sue and Lisa all my life.

We were bonded by more than just genetics. Although we never met in person, Sue and I exchanged many emails over the nine and a half years we knew each other. It didn’t matter that we never met in person (though I wish we had) because through those emails, we learned a lot about each other and developed an affection and a bond that you wouldn’t imagine two people who never met could share. We had one magical zoom in October 2023—seeing Sue’s face and hearing her voice made that bond even deeper.

Sue shared with me many photographs and stories about her beloved grandparents and all her cousins and their times together at the beach house owned by her grandparents. Over the years we learned that not only did we share DNA and a love of family history, but we also shared a love of the beach (Sue’s on Long Island, mine here on Cape Cod), a love for Italy, a passion for words and writing, and a devotion to Judaism. We agreed on politics and on the need for hope in a world filled with reasons for despair.

Sue adored above all else her husband Larry and her daughter Lisa. Here are some of Lisa’s favorite photographs of her mother.

Sue and Larry Wartur on the wedding day in 1959

Sue and Lisa

Lisa, Larry and Sue

Sue’s emails often made me laugh—-her sense of humor and of the absurd was delightful and insightful. And over those nine years we shared some heartbreaks as well. The illness and death of her beloved husband Larry, the deaths of both of my parents, and finally her own health struggles.

When Sue was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in March, she was determined to fight to survive and went through a long series of treatments. And then, just days after her oncologist had announced that despite all the odds, Sue was cancer-free, Sue collapsed while at synagogue and died a couple of days later from a brain aneurysm. The cruel irony of that has left all who loved her shocked and heartbroken.

Although I couldn’t get to Long Island for the funeral, I was able to watch it through the magic of the internet. It was one of the most moving and beautiful funerals I’ve seen because it was so filled with love and sadness. But mostly love. Everyone who spoke had obviously been forever touched by Sue and loved her deeply. Even the rabbi cried when talking about Sue.

I did not know Sue for most of her life, a life that was filled with so many accomplishments, adventures, and love. Please read the obituary below to learn more about her remarkable life. I can’t tell you how moved I was to see that Lisa, Sue’s daughter and my wonderful cousin, included me among the cousins who were mourning Sue.

https://www.easthamptonstar.com/obituaries/202593/susan-leyner-wartur

Sue, your memory will always be a blessing for me, and I know it will be a blessing for Lisa, Steven, Debrah, and all those family members, friends, former students, and others who loved and adored you.

Sue at the beach, her favorite place. Photo courtesy of her daughter Lisa Wartur